Bittersweet

"There is a harmony in autumn, and a luster in its sky, which through the summer is not heard or seen, as if it could not be, as if it had not been!" Percy Bysshe Shelley

Today on Pinterest, I found this great bucket list for fall activities.

B and I are always trying to figure out fun date ideas that are more than going to a movie after dinner at a chain restaurant. It is also really important to me to create family traditions that we do together, year after year. With many of our childhood traditions centered around religious holidays, we need to put in a little extra effort to create family memories that everyone can participate in. This list, with a few football and Westie related activities added, is a great inspiration for a wonderful season filled with laughter, love, and orange.

This weekend I'm hoping that we can go on a picnic on Capitol Hill, but we are going to have to go on Sunday. Saturday is Bryce's birthday, and I don't think I'm going to make it out of the house. I'm planning on lighting a Yahrzeit candle in his memory, and I'm going to spend the day taking care of his sister as best I can. I may go for a drive and let B take care of the baby. I think I need to just cry. I haven't let myself really grieve since I knew I was pregnant, which was December of last year. I'm hoping that by taking the time to mourn his death that I will be able to spend this fall in a better mental place.

I was so excited to be pregnant last year.

I love the fall. I hope I can learn to love it in a similar way again.