Raquel turned one last week, and I am still trying to wrap my brain around it.  How did my little, tiny doll baby get to be so big?

She is so close to walking right now, and has weaned herself of all but our first morning nursing session.  She has said a few words, Duke being the first one, and has called for both her Momma and Dadadadadadadada.  She has stolen a necklace of mine (it was designed to be a toy!) and wears it around for hours.  I swear we are watching her like hawks while she does this.  She love to laugh, she tries to sing when music is played, and Smooth Criminal can still calm down even the most epic of tantrums.

She is perfect, and in those moments when we roll around together on the floor, my cheek pressed to hers, smelling her sweet smell, and doing my best to make her giggle as loudly as she can, life is perfect.

As the cherry blossoms explode into bloom here, I am getting more and more excited about our upcoming move. I'm trying not to be nervous about the whole thing but, it is hard after this weekend. I had a complex migraine last weekend, and I ended up in the hospital...again. My GP thought I had a stroke, but thankfully it was much less permanent. I am so fucking sad that I had to miss my future sister-in-law's bridal shower, and I am trying to think of a way to make it up to her. I have a few ideas rolling around in my head, but so far they have been impractical. Pinterest is offering me no inspiration for once, but that may be because I'm hard-wired at the moment to focus on making our new place a home. My exhausted brain can only do one thing at a time.

I do wish Georgetown Cupcakes delivered though.

I think the reason I am so obsessed is that we are downsizing....a lot. We are moving to a 2 bedroom 2 bathroom apartment, and we are planning to stay there for a few years until we can save up a boatload of cash to buy a house here.



Pretty, don't you think? The place is beautiful, there are granite countertops (thank goodness), and the bedrooms are gigantic. The kitchen is fantastic, and there is SO much more storage space than in our condo in Omaha. Unfortunately we've spread out like crazy in this townhouse, and we really need to downsize. That is why the word of the season at the Diver house is purge!!! We are going through everything and sending most of our stuff to Goodwill. It is amazing how much stuff you can accumulate when you don't do a biannual reorganization of your home. B and I have the potential to become hoarders apparently, and I will not allow our home to be a place R is embarrassed to bring friends to.

So I may overwhelm this blog with our progress of making our new apartment into a home. I hope it will keep me honest, but I will probably just continue to sporadically post random nonsense. That is more my style.

Our trips to Philly and New Orleans were smashing successes, and we are currently gearing up for a few more big ticket adventures over the next few months. In March we head to Nashville for a baby shower for some wonderful friends, and then to NYC to celebrate my future sister-in-law's bridal shower. In April we head back to Nashville for a family wedding, and then we move into our beautiful new apartment.

Since our condo finally sold, I was able to take a (guilt free) trip to the mall to pick up a cute outfit, complete with two pairs of heels...sorry hon! It is official, my feet have spread so much that I now wear a 8 1/2. I have all of these adorable shoes that are way too small for me, but by April they will be out of the house and on their way to new homes.

Last year I was so excited to move into the townhouse, but the third trimester, a newborn, and te knowledge that our lease was only for a year put a damper on my decorating mojo. It wasn't worth the financial investment to really make this house shine, especially since we were waiting for our condo in Omaha to sell. This time we plan to create a comfortable and cozy retreat that will hold us over for at least five years. With B going to grad school, and the extremely high cost of living here, we are planning to save, save, save while our family grows. (No, that was not a pregnancy announcement.) By the time we leave for Nashville, I hope to have a plan of attack for the whole process. I'm going to use this blog to document the process, because apparently pinterest isn't enough. I'm going to try to attempt mood boards, play with fabric swatches, and moon over paint swatches. If anyone has any suggestions on how best to do that, I would love to hear them!

In between all of that brainstorming, I'm just going to stare at this gorgeous face. It really is the most beautiful thing in the world.

You're so vain...

I am so overwhelmingly excited about our upcoming weekend that I can barely contain myself. We are taking road trip to Philadelphia to visit my brother, his fiance, and some of my best friends. Duke is going to Puppy Summer Camp (the vet), and R and her wagon-loads of stuff are coming along for the ride. This will be the first trip that she will be in cloth diapers the entire time, as well as eating solid food. We use cloth on all of our day trips, and I don't see why we can't manage it for two and a half days. I'm not positive how we will handle feeding her in the bumbo only, but I'm sure we will be able to figure it out.

I am so amused with myself at the moment. Usually when I visit my loves in Philly, I plan every outfit down to the smallest detail. I pack pounds of makeup and hair products, two curling irons, and at times a weave. I schedule a hair appointment, a brow wax, and a mani-pedi for the week before to make sure I am as camera ready as a tub-o-lard can be. However, this trip I am packing my four everyday outfits, which are all different versions of the same silhouette. I blame nursing, but really I just no longer know how to dress fashionably for my new life. I life in J. Crew cardigans, Bravado nursing tanks, and a pair of dark wash Gap jeans. My collection of heels has been replaced by a pair of sneakers thanks to my injury, and other than a scarf here and there my accessories have dwindled to a simplistic set of jewelry. I am honestly quite surprised at how little I care. Of course I wish that I looked better in my lactation uniform, but I don't feel stifled or drab because of what I'm wearing. No one really pays attention anyway, since there something much more adorable to focus on.

I am hoping to get some inspiration from my most fashionable friends, but honestly I am so excited to bask in their presence that I don't care if I look like I live in a van by the river. I know in October I will focus on my costume as much as I always do, but this trip will be all about simply enjoying each other and delighting in their introductions to R. Those will be all the memories I need, and I don't care if I am camera ready or not. It is a little freeing, and also illuminating on just how vain I am.

You know, I kind of think that song is about me.

I finally cut my hair, after not allowing myself the luxury for a year and a half. Finding a new stylist can be exhausting, and I just didn't want to potentially feel frumpier than I already do. I stopped investing in my appearance a few years ago as a way to try to protect the tatters of my self confidence, and I've allowed that to go on for far too long. So I let the lovely Jill from Elements McLean cut four inches of my hair. While I'm sad to see it go, my hair seems to have this lovely swing that has been missing for far too long. B was extra handsy, and made me feel beautiful.

I don't want R to remember this version of me. I want her to remember me smiling, willing to pose for a photograph, put together, and most importantly, happy with myself and my place in the world. Now that we are on the other side of the haze that is newborn-induced exhaustion, I am trying to focus on myself in a way I have blatantly refused to before.

We are eating better, and I'm hoping to convert all of our regular recipes to clean and organic ones by the time R turns 1. I'm making all of her food from scratch, but roasting a few sweet potatoes and pureeing a few steamed pears isn't exactly rocket science. I spectacularly failed at my first attempt to make organic whole wheat bread, but B ate it anyway. A few months ago, that failure would have depressed me for days. I'm so proud of myself that I simply found a new recipe and moved on to the next task. I feel like I've been stagnant for so long, and that lack of forward momentum has negatively impacted my life.

Today we spent the day at the University of Maryland, where I helped a chapter of my sorority with their recruitment. R wore a version of the round "uniform", and we had the best time. B spent the afternoon playing video games with random frat guys, but he didn't mind (supposedly). On Tuesday I will be clarifying my role as a volunteer with a local theatre, and honestly I couldn't be more excited!

By the end of the week I hope to have everything where it should be in R's room, and to post those elusive nursery pictures. Tomorrow we are going to follow our lazy morning up with a (potential) tour of new apartments and a million baby cuddles. If the rain goes away enough, we may take a family walk with the puppers. It should be a wonderful day.

I'm so happy with my life right now. I have so many opportunities to create a way of living that fulfills me. How amazing!

We are so excited about the rest of this winter and spring, and I really think it is permeating everything we do. We spent last Saturday at the Museum of Natural History, and a lazy Sunday finishing up some projects around the house. We are finally starting to catch up and get back onto a normal(ish) schedule.

The last six months of our lives have been the most exhausting and rewarding times of our lives. R spent today eating apples, barley, and sweet potatoes, laughing, giving kisses, petting Duke, and cuddling with B. Seeing her smile at me while hugging her father's arm, resting her cheek on his bicep, was one of the best moments of my life.

We have so many upcoming trips, and we are moving to a new place this spring. There is so much ahead of us, and my goal for the year is to document our adventures consistently. Whether through blogging or scrapbooking, I want to make sure that once life slows down B and I have the opportunity to reflect and celebrate this time.

Hopefully, by the end of the month I will have completed R's nursery (and shared it!), gotten our daily lives back on track, and planned our February down to the last message heart. I am also challenging myself to take more pictures with our good camera, as my IPhone is no good at focusing on the adorableness that is my child with our dog!

A rose by any other name...

Raquel received her Hebrew name last Friday, and we could not be more pleased with how it went. Even though it was past her bedtime, she was excitedly basking in the attention. After the service, we came home for a party dedicated to the occasion. Of course, the guest of honor was asleep as soon as we got home, but we had a wonderful time celebrating her. I had a lot of fun decorating and baking for our little shindig. One of the best parts of being a parent is getting to make days like this special!

Our table-scape! For some reason I'm obsessed with polka dots at the moment.

The proud Grandmommy!

This is a better view of the decorations.

My brother and his fiance put up what I made/ ordered in a frenzy off the internet.

Paper lanterns can be used all the time...right?

I'm so happy with this cake. It isn't bad looking for homemade.

It was white cake with raspberry filling and salted buttercream icing...so delicious!

I'm now obsessed with food coloring, so I hope B doesn't mind brightly colored cupcakes from now on.

B made fresh homemade popcorn for everyone.

I will never be able to top that gift; he uses that popcorn popper nightly!

The following is a link to the service. The naming starts at 11 minutes in.

http://www.templerodefshalom.org/live/archive2.htm

"Picnic" in the Park

Yesterday we took the Metro to Capitol Hill for a picnic. Due to my inability to plan properly, we didn't really have picnic food in the house, other than PB&J. Since we were trying to make a date/family adventure out of this, we decided to find a local eatery and grab lunch there. The plan was to eat and people watch at the National Mall, and let R roll around on the (blanket covered) grass.

Of course, the place that we chose is closed on Sundays, so we ended up eating at the Capitol Lounge. R ate there too, which marked the second time we've taken our baby to a bar and that I breastfed her near drunk people. I'm a real winner when it comes to that sort of thing. The food was great, and we were lucky enough to sit outside. The bar (we thought it was a restaurant!) is across the street from the Library of Congress, which is just beautiful. I should have taken some pictures, but I'm not so good at using the giant camera that we lug around the city.

After lunch/dinner, we walked along the Mall. R had a snack in the garden outside of the Botanical Garden, after screaming like a banshee to get her diaper changed. I almost body slammed some jackass who said something rude about the way B was holding R. She was practicing standing while looking around (while I was cleaning up the evidence) and smiling at the trees moving in the wind. She was breathtaking, and this guy walked by and said something snarky about first time dads. Other than losing three cloth diapers (seriously, B, how did you do that?), B has been the best Daddy a little girl could ask for! Since most of you know how I feel about my dad, y'all know that is high praise indeed! R loves him so much, and you can just tell how safe and loved she feels in his arms.

After calming down while nursing R, I realized how anti-social I've become. B and I definitely need to get out more, or else R won't realize that there are other people in the world! So this upcoming weekend, we will take our little family for a real picnic along Skyline Drive. Duke will be invited this time, and I promise that I will actually take more than one picture!

Bittersweet

"There is a harmony in autumn, and a luster in its sky, which through the summer is not heard or seen, as if it could not be, as if it had not been!" Percy Bysshe Shelley

Today on Pinterest, I found this great bucket list for fall activities.

B and I are always trying to figure out fun date ideas that are more than going to a movie after dinner at a chain restaurant. It is also really important to me to create family traditions that we do together, year after year. With many of our childhood traditions centered around religious holidays, we need to put in a little extra effort to create family memories that everyone can participate in. This list, with a few football and Westie related activities added, is a great inspiration for a wonderful season filled with laughter, love, and orange.

This weekend I'm hoping that we can go on a picnic on Capitol Hill, but we are going to have to go on Sunday. Saturday is Bryce's birthday, and I don't think I'm going to make it out of the house. I'm planning on lighting a Yahrzeit candle in his memory, and I'm going to spend the day taking care of his sister as best I can. I may go for a drive and let B take care of the baby. I think I need to just cry. I haven't let myself really grieve since I knew I was pregnant, which was December of last year. I'm hoping that by taking the time to mourn his death that I will be able to spend this fall in a better mental place.

I was so excited to be pregnant last year.

I love the fall. I hope I can learn to love it in a similar way again.

Oh the places we go...

B got a new job about a month ago, and our entire life has been turned around. We now live in Northern Virginia in a suburb of Washington DC. We are renting a lovely town house while we wait for our condo in Omaha to sell. Duke is slightly traumatized, which has not been helped by his newest obsession. He needs to sit or lay touching me in some way, which would be perfectly fine if Raquel wouldn't kick him in the face while he was napping. He is convinced that I have become possessed, which is overwhelming his already strained psyche. Thankfully, Westies are resilient, and Duke is no exception. We (also known as my husband with much appreciated help by my mother) have done a wonderful job of setting up the living/dining room and the kitchen.

B and I are quickly falling in love with this area. We have both started (giant) lists of things to do and places to see. The greenery is absolutely intoxicating after living in the prairie for so long. Living close to us are close family and friends, and we will be within two hours of my brother and his fiance.

Raquel's nursery is going to be gorgeous. We painted the room a beautiful buttery yellow, and it is bright and cozy at the same time. After we get back from a wedding that we have been waiting for for 6+ years, (we love you guys!) B will put together the furniture and we will start on the little details to make her room a perfect little world for her to escape to NeverNeverLand in.

I am working on believing that she will be here in August. She is helping by dancing up a storm to Michael Jackson, kicking Duke in attempts to make friends, and generally obsessing over her father constantly. Her favorite thing in the world is his voice, and she will do anything to hear as much of it as possible. Apparently, paternal worship is genetic in my bloodline.