As most of my friends and fellow Bumpies know, I practice the Fertility Awareness Method of charting my fertility signs. I charted for three months before getting my BFP with Bryce, and I considered myself decent at recognizing signs of ovulation. I was fooling myself. I am completely confused this cycle. I went from bleeding to fertile quality CM, and when I just peed on an OPK and there was a definite line. Granted, it was a digital, which came up negative, but when I looked at the actual test there was a line.
I don't know if this is good for me right now. Will BFNs feel like I'm losing something when I get them? Am I actually prepared to TTC again, which includes all of the worry, speculation, and disappointment? I'm really not sure. I don't know if I will ever really be. We are going to try this cycle, so I guess it is already FWP week. I'm going to try just to make it about my husband and I celebrating each other. Truthfully, that is all I have control over when it comes to TTCing!
Ugh! Bodies are so strange after losses. I hope you are able to figure out what's going on soon!
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, BFNs are crushing disappointments. And BFPs are terrifying. I wish we could just be naive again!